Chapter 113: A Bitter Peace

“You do not have to love your neighbor, nor even like them, to co-exist with them.”

—Endebarga Unidan, former Chidron of Midliore

Zaina stared at the ceiling of the medic’s tent. Her leg was healing slowly but surely, but it was still too tender to put any weight on—so here she was, stuck recovering until Xyrthe came to retrieve her.

If she even comes. I’ll bet she’s halfway to Kaado.

Truth be told, she was bored. She’d spent the night in the medic tent at Sivanya’s insistence. Earlier in the morning she was assured by Tog that Xyrthe had been ‘contacted for extraction,’ as she put it, so there was nothing to do but wait. She hadn’t slept—the events of the day before kept her up.

Of course, she knew what was gnawing at her. The only person she wanted to talk to right now was Sivanya—she was the only one who’d be able to understand the strange feeling Zaina was experiencing; part optimism, part trepidation, and part dread.

She spent the morning staring at the fabric ceiling and thinking of what she wanted to say. There were so many things—firstly, Sivanya deserved the truth, and an apology for lying. But Zaina also wanted to confront her.

Unfortunately, all the wonderful words and phrases she’d come up with went out the window the moment Sivanya stepped in. Her eyes scanned the room, sorrowfully looking upon the wounded. They brightened a little when they fell upon Zaina.

Sivanya gave a half-grin, but there was something behind it—something mournful. She turned and waved someone else in—Xyrthe. Then they both walked over.

“Hello, Zaina,” Sivanya said. “I’m glad to see you’re awake.”

“Didn’t sleep,” she replied. “How are you, Xyrthe? Did you find Gizmo?”

“He’s back on the ship. You look like shit.”

Sivanya frowned. “My apologies for that. Most of her wounds were my doing.”

Xyrthe shrugged. “She could use the experience. All right, newbie. Whenever you’re ready, I’m outside.”

Zaina rolled her eyes—Xyrthe was dismissive as ever.

She’s probably ready to get home. Kaado. Her home.

The enclave felt like more of a home to Zaina than Kaado—though perhaps that was because she’d been out and about on constant missions for the past few months. She hadn’t spent more than a few nights in a row in her little domicile on the underside of Kaado’s metal crust.

Once Xyrthe was gone, Zaina and Sivanya started at the same time.

“I—”

Zaina waved a hand toward her. “Oh, you first.”

“No, go ahead.”

Zaina nodded. “I—first, I want to say I’m sorry that I had to lie to you. It wasn’t what I wanted to do, and it makes me feel like a piece of shit.”

Sivanya sighed. “I appreciate that. The apology, not the second part, mind you. Though I don’t think you were done.”

“No, there was more,” Zaina said. “There are some things I didn’t lie to you about. I really did get my mark from the Eldritch—and yes, my mark is real. It’s not a tattoo.”

“I wasn’t aware one could be a lancer and a marked,” Sivanya replied. “It’s no excuse for questioning that part of your identity—the one part that turned out to be genuine. I’m such a fool.”

“No,” Zaina said. “Well, you acted foolishly when you found out I was a lancer, but that doesn’t mean you’re a fool. If you learn from your mistakes, if you let them make you a better person, then you’re not ever a fool. Plus, I understand that everything you did, at least in your own mind, was for your people.”

Sivanya smiled. “You have your own sort of wisdom, you know that?”

Zaina shrugged. “I—I guess.”

“Well,” Sivanya started, “for what it’s worth, I would like to apologize to you. This whole time I thought all the hatred was coming from the other side of the forest—I didn’t realize how much it had consumed me, too. I was so convinced no lancer could ever be—well, like you. And my own hatred nearly led to me destroying the one outsider trying to help—and it nearly doomed all of my people.

“But you, Zaina—you never gave up, not even at the bitter end. You kept fighting for my people and for me, even when I myself stood in your way. And because of that, because of you, my people will live to see tomorrow. So, in addition to my sincerest apologies, I’d also like to offer you my deepest gratitude. You came into the middle of so much hatred, and your heart won the day.”

Zaina shook her head. “No, it was you—remember? Kalo was the one who stood up for you. If it hadn’t been for him, Dirzo would’ve killed us both.”

“I said that day that the right thing to do for the enclave would have been to kill him,” Sivanya said. “I don’t think I’ve ever been more wrong in my entire life. I still have my doubts, but perhaps there is hope for some sort of peace.”

“Speaking of,” Zaina said, sitting up in her cot, “have you talked to Dirzo?”

“Yes, he’s still on edge about the whole thing,” Sivanya said. “So am I. He’s re-planting the forest and sending us some old equipment to help rebuild the enclave—and he’s agreed to not interfere with our excavation of the temple.”

“You’re still going to keep going?”

“I don’t know,” Sivanya said. “I wanted a safe place for the marked—a place we could be ourselves without worry for the world or some dark calling; perhaps it was too good to be true. They made it inside the temple, you know—when you told them to retreat, they managed to get inside the structure. But so did Kalo and Vika.”

Zaina nodded. “So it won’t keep them out.”

“No,” Sivanya said. “No, I’m afraid it won’t. Perhaps it’s too good to be true anywhere.”

“I don’t think so—and I don’t think you should stop looking. There’s somewhere out there for us, isn’t there? There has to be.”

A warm smile brightened Sivanya’s face. “I do hope you’re right.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment, as if no words needed be said; but Zaina knew otherwise.

“Say,” she started.

“Hm?”

“I—I need to tell you something.”

“Okay, let’s hear it,” Sivanya replied.

Zaina wasn’t quite sure how to start, so she went right from the heart. “Well—it’s this weird feeling I’ve had ever since Dirzo left. I don’t know—I guess part of me is a little worried for you. I mean, I think I did the right thing here, but—I can’t help but feel like the long battle is an uphill one, if that makes sense.”

Sivanya nodded. “It does.” Then she stood. “I’m afraid I have other business to attend to—there’s much to be done, after everything. And it seems your friend is in a hurry to leave.”

Zaina leaned back, groaning. “We’ve been on missions non-stop for months. I think she wants some down time. I can’t lie, I could use some, too.”

A coy chuckle came from Sivanya. “Well, the Nova Rim will still need saving after you’re good and rested. I—I do hope we see each other again someday.”

“I do, too,” Zaina said. “You be careful out there. If I ever come across a marked in need, I’ll send them your way.”

“And I’ll know if they mention your name, that they’re to be trusted completely,” Sivanya said. She turned to leave, but stopped at the doorway and said, “I’ll never forget you, Zaina Quin—and I’ll never forget what you did here.”

Zaina smiled. Nothing else needed be said. With that, Sivanya left.

Xyrthe marched in a few seconds later. “You ready?”

“I can barely walk,” Zaina replied.

“Well, you can barely walk on the ship,” Xyrthe said. “I’ve got a hovercart to get you there.”

***

The sun was setting over Vyzria, its fading light casting dancing shadows across the mountain’s stone faces. More and more, the shadows were overtaking the light; and as the light diminished, so too did Zaina’s time on this world.

A few more steps and she’d be back in Xyrthe’s ship, which was already powered on. Then Zaina would be a lancer again—but also an outsider.

Part of her felt the enclave understood her in a way the Order never could—but then again, she’d faced different prejudices in her time here. Maybe it was a nice change of pace, to be hated for her lancer half. Really, she wished she wasn’t hated anywhere.

Xyrthe’s voice snapped her out of her last lingering moments, trying to catch the waning flickers of the sun’s light before it dropped entirely behind the mountains on the horizon. “You coming, rook?”

Zaina hobbled onto the ship. By the time she sat they were already taking off—being a lancer often meant little time for sentimental goodbyes. It meant finding dozens of places across the galaxy you’d like to call home, and having to part with each one.

After a few boring minutes Zaina decided to go bother Xyrthe in the cockpit. She hobbled her way in and sat in the empty co-pilot’s chair.

“Shouldn’t you be resting that leg, rookie?”

Zaina shrugged. “Probably.”

Xyrthe didn’t care. “You know,” she said, “I thought you were done for when you didn’t take the extraction.”

“I thought so, too,” Zaina replied. “And I almost was.”

“I’m sure it’s quite a story,” Xyrthe said.

“You don’t want to hear it?”

“Hell no,” Xyrthe shot back. Then she stood; before walking out, she slapped a hand on Zaina’s shoulder and said, “We’re going home, kid.”

Zaina leaned back. Home. Home indeed.